Do you ever have a great idea, but lack the time, or means to act on it?

That happens all the time, right?  Well I found a post that has helped me to put that into perspective.  The Professional Self Improvement Directory has posted a great piece by Kevin Eikenberry that I wanted to share with you.

What Now? The Critical Choices You Face With Every New Idea

Every day you get new ideas. They might come in the shower, while you are taking a walk, driving your car, or perhaps even during a meeting!

Most days you also learn something that you sense could really help you improve or make progress towards one of your goals or objectives. This lesson might come in a formal classroom setting, from a magazine or book you are reading, or from a casual conversation.

Receiving these ideas and lessons is a wonderful gift and a tremendous opportunity. Unfortunately, like unfound diamonds, many of these gems are never polished and made more valuable. Instead they are ignored, forgotten or tossed aside, never to be found again.

What a pity.

While it is certainly important and useful to learn new things and have new ideas, this step alone is far from enough. Individuals, teams and whole organizations consciously or unconsciously make one choice with every new idea and lesson every diamond in the rough they acquire. Those choices are:

1. Take action

2. Do nothing
For a variety of reasons most ideas and lessons learned meet the second fate the idea is considered and captured, the best practice is identified or the lesson is learned, but nothing happens.

Have you ever thought, or known someone to say, I had that idea years ago! after seeing a new product on the market? The fact is several people or groups had that idea years ago, but only one of them did anything with it. And the only person or group to benefit from the idea is the one who takes action.

Actually both choices (do nothing or take action) are extremely valuable to us and both should be used wisely. The single biggest problem we face with our ideas and new lessons is that we don't consciously make this choice, which implies that by default we are automatically making the choice to do nothing.

So the most important thing to do with all your new ideas is to make an intentional choice. Are we going to pursue this idea or approach or not? It is OK to not take action, most likely you cant apply everything you learn or think of you must prioritize in some way.

The Second Choice

However, once you have intentionally decided to take action you come to the next important choice:

1. Take a small action

2. Take massive action

Most people most of the time make the first choice they take small, timid, incremental action. They move forward slowly; deciding to do a small test, form a subcommittee or try the idea in a small market. Sometimes this is the prudent approach to take.

The second choice is bold and perhaps more risky. But sometimes you intuitively know this is the right course of action, or at a minimum the idea moves you towards your goal. In these cases, consider making the bolder choice. Take bigger actions, take them sooner and invest in them with your money and time, but also with your full commitment and belief.

Perhaps because choice two is more risky, it is less often taken (especially when you are a part of a larger team or organization). But remember, both of these choices have their place. There is a time to go slower and test and a time to step out boldly!

Just as with the first choice to act or not, make this choice with intention and truly give the second option more consideration than you have in the past youll be glad you did! (Remember that with greater risk also comes greater reward).

The Third Choice

Once you have decided to take action (whether small and incremental or bold and immediate) you have one more choice:

1. Go in the right direction

2. Go in the wrong direction

This third choice focuses us on informed action. Taking action is great, but taking informed action is much more valuable. As you move forward with your idea, make sure that you are applying the lessons of others. How can you capitalize on their experience? How can you learn from their successes and/or mistakes?

Marketing expert Alex Mandossian says the only thing worse than running in the wrong direction is running quickly in the wrong direction. The power of informed action allows you to run quickly in the right direction.

Learning and taking advantage of the best experience and lessons of others (whether that is from an expert, a company in a completely different industry or our next door neighbor) reduces the risk of making mistakes. Fewer mistakes allows you to take greater action and move forward much more rapidly to uncover the value of the idea you had in the first place!

So what is the underlying message of this article? If you want to make better use of your ideas, do the following:

1. Decide which ideas will most help you move toward your goals and objectives. Consciously decide which ones to act on.

2. Recognize that you have a choice besides starting small and carefully. You can choose to take massive and immediate action.

3. Learn from the experience of others. By applying the lessons of others to your idea you can reduce your risk and raise your productivity significantly.

Lastly, and most importantly, once you are informed and can benefit from the successes and failures of others, consider dialing up your action. Meaning, once youve done step #3 relook at the second choice and see if you are now willing and able to take broader, bigger actions.

As the phrase attributed to several people reads, boldness has genius, power and magic in it!

Using this set of choices clearly allows you to make more intentional and faster progress toward your organizational and personal goals.

Consider these choices.

Kevin Eikenberry is a leadership expert and the Chief Potential Officer of The Kevin Eikenberry Group, a learning consulting company that helps Clients reach their potential through a variety of training, consulting and speaking services. To receive your free special report on Unleashing Your Potential go tohttp://www.kevineikenberry.com/uypw/index.asp or call us at (317) 387-1424 or 888.LEARNER.

Labels: Decision Making, Productivity

Jim Stroud posted this list yesterday on The Recruiters Lounge web site.  On this list I am #12.  Blast!  I should be #1!  But I just don't have time to Twitter that much.

Top 50 Recruiters on Twitter

According to Twitter Grader, below is a list of the Top 50 Recruiters on Twitter according to their number of followers and (presumably) their influence in the Twittosphere. All of the members below have the term "Recruiter" in their Twitter bio. (Just fyi.) Click here to see the Top 100 Twitterers with "Recruiting" in their bio. (Thanks to KarenM for the heads up.) 

Top 50 Recruiters on Twitter

#1 DMular (Dawn Mular)

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2. smheadhunter (Jim Durbin)

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3. derrickcarlisle (derrickcarlisle)

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4. mnheadhunter (Paul DeBettignies)

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5. prjobs (Lindsay Olson)

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6. cincyrecruiter (Jennifer McClure)

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7. eskimo_sparky (Markus Hafner)

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8. drsallywitt (Social Media Maven!)

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9. audreychernoff (audrey chernoff)

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10. heathergardner (heathergardner)

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11. biotechjobs (Laurie DesAutels)

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12. fishdogs (Craig Fisher)

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13. richrecruiter (richrecruiter)

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14. harveyclay (Harvey)

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15. mclaine (Michael Laine)

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16. salesrecruiter (Peggy McKee)

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17. medicalquack (MedicalQuack)

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18. srj61304 (Sarah)

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19. sallyoahu (SallyOahu)

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20. jonlyles (Jon Lyles)

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21. tcarah (Trevor Carah)

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22. debworks (Debworks)

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23. DarrylRMSG (Darryl Dioso)

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24. theregoesdave (theregoesdave)

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25. GordonLokenberg (Gordon Lokenberg)

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26. gunrights (Mark Vanderberg)

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27. AndreaSantiago (Health Careers)

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28. plaz_ (Drew Kovacs)

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29. aellislegal (Amanda Ellis )

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30. timpauk (timpauk)

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31. recruitermoe (Martin Burns)

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32. jguske (James Guske)

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33. kimpope (KimPope)

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34. barchbo (Betsy)

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35. DavidTalamelli (DavidTalamelli)

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36. mktrecruiter (Kim Sheets)

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37. stevengilbert (Steve Gilbert)

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38. the_wordgirl (the_wordgirl)

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39. topmentor (Brian McCoy)

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40. gregdwyer (gregdwyer)

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41. dawnmiller (Dawn Miller)

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42. shebeegee (Sheena Gates)

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43. davebenjamin (David Benjamin)

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44. bartkewicz (Matthew Bartkewicz)

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45. karla_porter (Karla Porter)

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46. allisonwerner (allisonwerner)

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47. smellycents (shelly centis)

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48. IMPACTHIRING_BR (Brad Remillard)

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49. blogging4jobs (JessicaMillerMerrell)

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50. nextforce (Ryan Coleman)

Labels: MicroBlogging, Recruiting, Twitter

One evening after our team lost the Orange Bowl I was trying to explain to some friends why I like Facebook.  None of my guy friends that were here had FB accounts, but a couple of their wives did.  Well, that's a problem right there.  They (the guys) perceived FB to be kind of a chick thing.  And it is.  And it isn't.  Well, it is, but it's so much more than that. 

The next day was my birthday.  It was my first time to experience a birthday Facebook style.  And wow!  I received literally dozens of happy birthday wishes.  And while that is novel, it's not really a convincing reason to jump on Facebook.  Some people (not me) might get dozens of calls or emails on their birthdays without the help of Social Media.  But it gets more interesting when you consider that I have not seen many of these people since the 1980's.

For many, keeping up with even very close friends can sometimes be tough.  But after my wife set up a Facebook account for me and coaxed me into participating I found that I was able to keep up not just with close friends, in a manner that email or other online communities never afforded, but people from my distant past began to emerge.  The initial reaction to this can range from mild trepidation to "oh, hell no!".  But you soon realize that this is a really cool time warp that will open parts of your mind you forgot you ever had.  And these memories, even the worst ones, have mellowed with age.  The result is nothing less than cathartic. 

To be fair, there is more to Facebook than just the "thanks for the memories" aspect.  You can promote your business, events, charity, or band.  You can organize groups to virtually any purpose.  And you have a built-in focus group to utilize any time you have an idea.  But, as demonstrated by a question I posted on Facebook (shown at the bottom of this post), the most beloved aspect is the trip on which this application can take you.  Not to be overly dramatic, but it's fairly magical. 

There is a good reason Facebook is the among the fastest growing social networks in the world along with micro blogging community, Twitter.  But where Twitter is used by early adopters and cutting edge marketers for up to the second news and opinions, and your network is filled with mostly people you met online, Facebook continues to be more of an amazing adventure into the past.  And that's a good thing. 

Not surprisingly, considering the current economy, Facebook has become a giant neighborhood hangout.  Singles and couples alike opt to stay in and spend time trading stories, jokes, photos and videos with ghosts from another time.  As the presentation attached below says, "If you're not on Facebook already, then you're likely to be getting on it pretty soon."  Then you'll have to worry about Facebook time management.  I won't lie, it's addicting.  But after all, what if someone told you they had built an actual time machine, and you could load it on your laptop?  That's exactly what Facebook has done.

Switched.com put together a comprehensive starter kit that is great for FB newbies as well as savvy veterans called Facebook 101: 25 Tips and Tricks .  I have reproduced it here as a Slideshare presentation just below.  If you are still hesitant about Facebook after reading this post, then I'll only say that you don't know what you're missing.  

Find me on FaceBook at http://facebook.com/profile.php?id=1167766436

Craig wants to know what you love about Facebook. I'm putting something together for the skeptics. Let me hear from ya! 4:55pm - 15 Comments

Tracy at 5:30pm January 10

Getting back in touch with college and H.S. friends that I haven't talked to in many many years!

Holly at 5:34pm January 10 via Facebook Mobile

Agree and freakin Jr. High! Plus it gets so hard to pick up the phone with busy schedules so it is nice to stay in touch and know what everyone is doing. Gives you insight into personalities as well.

Cari at 5:38pm January 10

Staying in touch with people you know who you haven't seen in forever; having "conversations" online with friends who live far away; I work in education, so I can also stay in touch with former students now that they've graduated; my cousin and I have reconnected more thanks to FB and email -- normally, we're all too busy but this is perfect for quick opportunities to catch up!

Pete at 5:44pm January 10

If your putting together a ppt, send me a copy. I'm getting similar skepticism on my end

ReChelle at 6:08pm January 10 via Facebook Mobile

Remembering the good old times you may have forgotten.

Lance at 6:14pm January 10 via Facebook Mobile

Craig, FB has given me the opportunity to reconnect with friends in ways Myspace could not. Not only have I reconnected with friends from our class, I have reconnected with friends from work places, Skate World (where I was a DJ)and other schools; but most importantly I have made a few new friends as well!
Hearing about friends daily experiences on FB has also given me the chance to share things going on in my life. Sometimes we need jokes, sometimes we are frustrated, sometimes we just need to vent, or maybe even need a car repair. With being able to talk and share with so many friends at one time we can all have a chance at being better friends and even a chance to help someone when they are at a cross road. Thanks for the question Craig, I have been surprised at level of response I have received and recommend FB! -Lance

Jim at 6:45pm January 10

Just yesterday I found a bunch of guys I was in the Military with.

Joshua at 6:56pm January 10

Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
You fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way.
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way.

Craig Fisher at 8:13pm January 10

Thank you Josh for the "timely" Pick Floyd reference.

April at 9:08pm January 10

It's like "December Mail" everyday, all day long... News & pictures from old friends in your inbox constantly. Or a continuous "This is Your Life"

Eric at 11:12am January 11

For me.. Each and every person I have as a friend has impacted my life either directly or indirectly. You might say that they are part of who I am. It's nice to be able to bridge the separation via technology. I'm inspired by and enjoy each person and their story. Plus it's "FUN".

David at 9:37pm January 11

Over the course of time we lose touch with a lot of folks who have in many cases meant a great deal to us. I've lost addresses in moves, in computers that have crashed without back-ups, and in the case of my year books, and high school pictures, those memories were lost in a house fire. Facebook is a great way, perhaps the best way today, to recapture, reconnect and rediscover many of those people and memories that were lost.

at 2:05pm January 12

It brings Longhorns & Sooners together...if only for a brief moment. I still feel so dirty.

Labels: FACEBOOK, Social Media, Social Networking, web2.0

Social media sites are fast becoming the go to outlet to compliment a marketing campaign.  Companies of all sizes are embracing the technology and the ability to interact with their audience to boost sales and enhance marketing.  But as I stated in a previous post, Employer Branding with Web2.0 & Social Media, HR and PR departments are lagging far behind.  Those responsible for a company's image, apart from sales, and product or service marketing, should be at the forefront of the company's efforts in the online arena.

We have already seen two recent cases where a company's reputation can be hurt quickly by the viral spread of stories or video posted to networking sites like YouTube, FaceBook, LinkedIn, MySpace and Twitter.  The cases of KFC and Motrin are now well documented.  Just do a google search on KFC and rats, or Motrin and Twitter, and you'll see what I mean.

My question, apart from the obvious effect of tarnished reputation and loss of market share, is how does this effect the morale of existing employees, and the interest of perspective employees, of the companies who own these brands?  Motrin responded with an apology and stopped running the offensive material.  This was material that was meant to be good marketing and ended up as a PR headache. 

CV Harquail at AuthenticOrganizations.com has found a nice presentation that illustrates the basics of reputation management.  She points out in her article, Online Reputations and Authenticity a few keys that can be derived:

* Many managers and management scholars are unaware of how important an organization's online reputation management is to the organization's overall corporate identity, the organization's corporate social responsibility efforts, and the organization's employer branding.

* Managers who remain ignorant of blogs, or twitter, or whatever online tool is being used to discuss an organization, do so at their organization's peril.

• Although online reputation management seems to be taken seriously only by those in social media and marketing circles, an organization's online reputation can influence everything about how an organization is perceived . When you consider how perceptions of an organization affect how every stakeholder in the organization's circle responds to the organization, you can begin to imagine the power of an organization's online reputation.

And, if that is not enough to get you to pay attention, think more selfishly about your own 'brand'. Online reputation management is also critical to individuals- as any teenager on Facebook can tell you.

Four points made nicely in this presentation - That we all should use online reputation management tactics to:

1. Offset negative content by promoting what is good, and true
2. Take ownership of your reputation in (yet) another medium,
3. Address negative feedback in a constructive way, and
4. Be open and transparent - and authentic - in your communication and self-presentation.

Labels: branding, Employer Branding, FACEBOOK, Hiring, LinkedIn, marketing, Social Media, Twitter, web2.0

Did you know that people with more than twenty connections on LinkedIn are thirty-four times more likely to be approached with a job opportunity than people with less than five.  That fact came from Guy Kawasaki's blog in January of 2007.  And while his 10 Ways to Use LinkedIn are still a good primer, much has changed since then.

In case you didn't know, LinkedIn has many new features for networking, job searching, and recruiting.  This article contains some tips that I think are very helpful in getting more out of this powerful tool.

The first is an indisputable fact.  You should be LinkedIn with me.  Go to my LinkedIn Profile and invite me to join your network.  Right now.  If LinkedIn wants you to list my email address in order to invite me, here it is: craig@alistsolutions.com .  I don't sell anything there, and I will never harass you.  But I will answer questions, refer you to people with whom you wish to network (if your intentions are honorable), provide a plethora of great job search and networking advice, maximize your marketability, help you hire your next great employee, or help you find your dream job.  And I will scratch your back whenever I can. 

Now do you see how easy that was?  Building your network is an important part of being on LinkedIn.  It takes a little work, but it's worth it.  Just ask the people with less than 5 connections.  Oh, wait, you can't because you would probably never find them even if you did a search.  I'm not saying that you should indiscriminately network with just anyone.  But chances are, if you are reading this article, I want to know you, and you want to know me.  Don't be completely generic when asking people to join your network.  Give them a compelling reason or at least be friendly.  "I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn" is neither, though that won't bother me.

Obviously there is more to it than just building up a great network.  Participation is another key to good networking.  Julius Solaris wrote a great piece on his blog entitled 10 tips to master the "new" LinkedIn: 

10. Group Discussion not Q&A

After Linkedin introduced discussions within Groups, Q&A are redundant. Group Discussions are more specific and targeted to your interests.

You can see threaded conversations and, if you are lucky enough, you get some moderation from the group manager.

Linkedin Groups

9. Share your trip details

An interesting application is My Travel from  Tripit.

One of the best uses of Linkedin is to find connections when you are travelling. I heard great stories of people setting up successful business meetings just by asking in the Q&A section.

My Travel brings the concept further and displays your network where you are and where you will be.

My Travel

8. Ask for opinions

The Linkedin Poll application achieves the simple task of asking for opinions.
Polls have been there forever in online communities, it was right about time to have that functionality in LinkedIn.

LinkedIn Polls

7. Update your profile, twitter style

The "Update" section is becoming key to Linkedin. Hopefully they will develop this feature even further with better search tools.

This section is a very powerful tool as it gives premium information such as "This person is hiring" or "Looking for a business partner".

Keep an eye on this one.

6. Promote and attend Events

The recently introduced Events section helps in finding relevant events in your area.

If you are organizing both, formal or informal gatherings, this is also a great opportunity to promote.

Linkedin Events

5. Be informed with the News section

I actually really like this section, it gives you the chance to see relevant information, again according to your Group belonging.

This feature used to be reserved to companies, welcomed opening.

4. Blog to the top

If you don't have a blog, you should get one soon.

Once you do have one, I strongly suggest you integrate either with the Blog Link or Wordpress app, the latter being my favourite.

Wordpress

Blog Link

3.Unleash your presentations

My beloved Slideshare.net released an application to show your slides in your profile.

Out of all the apps, this is the most relevant as it really serves the purpose of networking.

Presentations are indeed the most accepted form of business communication, a great match.

Slideshare Presentations

2. Collaborate

Huddle is a great service for online collaboration and sharing.

This is a great application which enables teamwork, really like the 1GB shared space.

Huddle Workspaces

1. Perform a better search

Linkedin focused on delivering an improved search experience.

Make sure you check below for few tips on how to perform better searches.

5 Tips on How to Search LinkedIn Like a Pro

LinkedIn for Sourcing

If you are a business owner, hiring manager, HR representative, or staffing professional, there are some great new tools on LinkedIn for you.

According to this article from Workforce Management about the upcoming LinkedIn tools for Recruiting, LinkedIn has recently been adding a million new members every two weeks, and officials say more than 829,000 HR professionals and 521,000 corporate recruiters now use the network. 

LinkedIn will soon offer four additional recruiting-related upgrades for business customers, starting with customizable company information pages that corporate customers can configure to match a job opening to the profile of the LinkedIn member reading the material.  It will also offer an improved e-mail marketing campaign tool that lets corporate customers tap into LinkedIn's existing InMail network to broadcast job openings or other messages to its 33 million members. Rounding out the new features are an expanded banner advertising program and a flat-fee annual subscription for job board postings.  You can read the full article here: http://www.workforce.com/section/00/article/26/08/38.php

If you are not inclined to pay for such services, you have some alternatives.  Irina Shamaeva posted a great piece on ERE.net about LinkedIn Sourcing with a free account.  Many of the ideas are similar to the tips posted above, but are more tailored to recruiting.  Irina is the creator of the Boolean Strings group on RecruitingBlogs.com and always has great advice.

Regardless of how you use LinkedIn, you should probably be paying closer attention to it these days with so many ways to improve your professional profile, your personal or career brand, your employer brand, or your sales and recruiting efforts. 

Labels: careers, Hiring, jobs, LinkedIn, Social Media, Social Networking

To the uninitiated, Twitter is confusing, even daunting.  Whether you have never tried Twitter, or are just looking for some new tricks, you're in luck.  These tips will help newbies and Twitter veterans alike.  Happy tweeting.

13 Tips to Hacking Twitter

Sage Twitter advice from Larry Chiang on SocialTimes.com

Hey, What are you doing right now?

This is what Twitter answers in a text message of 140 characters or less. This networking tool is something bloggers use to publicize writings, companies use to elicit brand promotion, and people use to network. Here are ten Twitter hacks to better understand and leverage this new social networking tool.
-1- Be reTweet Worthy.

The biggest compliment you can get on Twitter is a retweet (RT). I've posted 2000+ tweets and maybe have been retweeted less than 1% of the time.

-2- Gossip Boy.

'OH' is when you "overhear" something juicy and tweet it as OH. This is in contrast to citing and sourcing, "@larryChiang's Drunk tttrs are funny". Gossip girls and boys, relish in the guilty comfort and anonymity within the confines of an 'OH'.

-3- Pick a Twitter Thesis.

Twitter generalists bore. Twitter granularists bore most when they 'report' on cereal consumption and choice. Solution: pick a thesis or at least a general focus. My focus is "What They Don't Teach You At B-School".

-4- Twitter Ambush.

Some elements of a good military ambush are positioning, preparation, monitoring and of course surprise. Position and preparation are functions of what you selected as your focus. Monitor via Summize. A twitter ambush is where people walk into your expertise and your material springs into action.
-5- Squat a Hashtag.

Conversations can be hash-tagged to get tweets organized. For example, "#SXSW08? is SXSW in Austin and if my math serves me right, #SXSW09 will be next year ;-). In March I'm hosting #VCsecrets as a panel. In the comments below add your hash-tags to various conversations.

-6- Reciprocaters Only.

Ratios on Twitter are very important. The Friend to Followers ratio should be 1:1. Friends are those you follow. The Follow-Unfollow-Follow maneuver is used on someone who isn't following you. What this does is sends an email notifying you are now following them (even though you were following them all along).

-7- Follow Passion Topics on Summize.

Use twitter search engine called Summize to find tweets about your thesis/focus. You can also use alerts based on keywords.

-8- Oops, I Did Mean to Turn You On

Twitter mistakes are fun and can help communicate a message. Depending on your newbie status, you can 'fail forward'. For example,
"Favorite @tylerWillis"
This mistake I made when Mr Tyler Willis reTweeted and re-posted a Business Week blog post of mine.

'Unfollow @gregarious' is when I didn't really stop tracking Greg, but wanted to fire a shot across his bow after he talked smack at #BWE08.

-9- TinyURL to Promote.

There are website shorteners for when you're tweeting a link. This helps you stay under 140 characters. You may have heard of RSS. Twitter is similar to RSS but made slightly more personal.

-10- Live tweet something.

Have access to something newsworthy, informational or breaking?! Live tweet it.
CNN loves the Twitter and your live tweets might make it onto cable TV for hundreds to see.

-11- Read your DMs and @ replies.

Twitter newbies don't realize that there are DMs - direct messages and @ replies - public DMs. For example, @arielK might tweet "@larryChiang AfterParty at W." I'd miss it if I didn't hit my "@replies" from my twitter home page.

-12- Host a Twitter Contest

High brow intellectuals furl at the thought of doing a contest. Me, I have 700 followers because I'll bribe, tip, comp and bribe people to read my twitter. I said bribe twice because nearly every contestant is a winner.

{CONTEST} Tweet ur fave TIP and WIN a gift card! http://tinyurl.com/twitter20 or http://tinyurl.com/6ak7r2 #larrychiang to play

-13- Pre-publish a Chapter Except via Twitter

There's an urban legend that a book is getting written via Twitter 140 characters at a time. Maybe its a sequel to "What They Don't Teach You At Stanford Business School."

Larry Chiang is the founder of Duck9. His focus is "stuff they don't teach you at B-school". It's material that Chiang has been reading, researching and investigating since he was a sophomore in college studying engineering. Get Chiang's book "What They Don't Teach You in Business School" here.

Labels: MicroBlogging, Social Media, Social Networking, Twitter

These are from a list posted by Dmitri Davydov on Madconomist.com.  They are pretty funny and I can attest to the fact that people really do put some really stupid stuff on their resumes.  I wonder sometimes if these people ever even read their own resumes.  Many I get from people claiming to be experts in software architecture, or even from C and D level executives still have "12/1992 - Present" on a position that was 5 jobs ago.

If you are a job seeker, do yourself a favor and have a friend proofread your resume before you send it to anyone, even a recruiter.  Because, believe it or not, even though the recruiter may help you with your resume, they will still think that you should pay more attention to detail and may form a negative impression of you if your resume lacks polish.  Remember, your resume is often the first impression that someone has of you.  And these days when we should all have most of our resume online at LinkedIn or elsewhere, it is particularly important to make sure everything is up to date and that those typos are caught and eliminated.

None of this is made up. People really did put this stupid crazy (stuff) on their resumes or job applications.

1. I am very detail-oreinted.

2. My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable.

3. Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty!

4. Enclosed is a ruff draft of my resume.

5. It's best for employers that I not work with people.

6. Here are my qualifications for you to overlook.

7. I am a quick leaner, dependable, and motivated.

8. If this resume doesn't blow your hat off, then please return it in the enclosed envelope.

9. My fortune cookie said, "Your next interview will result in a job." And I like your company in particular.

10. I saw your ad on the information highway, and I came to a screeching halt.

11. Insufficient writing skills, thought processes have slowed down some. If I am not one of the best, I will look for another opportunity.

12. Please disregard the attached resume-it is terribly out of date.

13. Seek challenges that test my mind and body, since the two are usually inseparable.

14. Graduated in the top 66% of my class.

15. Reason for leaving last job: The owner gave new meaning to the word paranoia. I prefer to elaborate privately.

16. Previous experience: Self-employed-a fiasco.

17. Exposure to German for two years, but many words are inappropriate for business.

18. Experience: Watered, groomed, and fed the family dog for years.

19. I am a rabid typist.

20. I have a bachelorette degree in computers.

21. Excellent memory; strong math aptitude; excellent memory; effective management skills; and very good at math.

22. Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer.

23. I worked as a Corporate Lesion.

24. Reason for leaving last job: Pushed aside so the vice president's girlfriend could steal my job.

25. Married, eight children. Prefer frequent travel.

26. Objective: To have my skills and ethics challenged on a daily basis.

27. Special skills: Thyping.

28. My ruthlessness terrorized the competition and can sometimes offend.

29. I can play well with others.

30. Personal Goal: To hand-build a classic cottage from the ground up using my father-in-law.

31. Objective: I want a base salary of $50-$60,000 dollars, not including bonus. And some decent benefits. Like a retirement plan, health insurance, personal or sick days.

32. Experience: Provided correct answers to customers' questions.

33. Education: Graduated from predatory school with honors.

34. Never been fired, although it could happen anytime now.

35. I have happily been a "kept man" for the past 10 years.

36. Have extensive experience in turkey manufactures as well as new product development and implementation.

37. I am accustomed to speaking in front of all kinds of audiences. I make points as well as I can.

38. Personal: Five children. Dog: Jasper. Cat: Morris. Gerbil: Binky.

39. While in military, was instrumental in creation of a treat detection system.

40. My compensation package at my last job included a base salary of $64,500 with excellent benefits including flextime. I am looking for a position in which I can work a more flexible schedule.

41. Hire me and you won't regret it - I am funny, cute, smart and creative. really.

42. Referees available upon request.

43. Previous rank: Senior instigator.

44. I have recently sold my home and I now live in a large RV so I will be able to relocate quickly.

45. Reason for leaving: They stopped paying me.

46. Cover letter: Desire the chance to showcase my delightful personality, intelligence and superior judgment, which are so hard to find these days.

47. Personal achievements: Successfully played "Chop Sticks" on a toy piano with my big toes.

48. Objective: To obtain a position where I can make a difference, infecting others with my professionalism, enthusiasm and dedication.

49. Strengths: Impersonal skills.

50. Special interests: I like any projects that are fun.

51. Please explain any breaks in your employment career: 15 minute coffee break while working at a home improvement store.

52. Vocational plans: Sea World.

Labels: careers, Funny, Resumes

Great post from CareerFire.com

by GUEST BLOGGER on JANUARY 4, 2009

Today's career environment is different, at least for the information workers. What's different is that there are more ways to influence getting a job than in the past. You probably already know that the old saying is true: "it's not what you know; it's who you know." Well, the people you know has expanded a bit, thanks to social networks, and what people know about you has grown, too, thanks in part to the various tools you can employ in social media.

What follows are some ideas on building your online presence with your career in mind.

Your Blog Is A Resume

If you've not considered this yet, let me explain that my blog has been responsible for HUNDREDS of inquiries over the years. Why? Because people who might want to know about using video, or blogging, or making podcasts, or tying this all together into a strategy see examples, almost daily, of what I think, what I know, and how I've accomplished some of this in my own life and career.

Blogging about this stuff is like writing out my experience for a resume line by line. (Only less boring).

Use These Tools For You

The story of our work lives, and the story of what we do after work when we're expressing our passion can now be captured in ways we didn?t have available to us before. With free tools, free or inexpensive distribution, you can share your accomplishments with the world, and with Google, which most prospective employees use as a matter of course these days in their hiring diligence.

Elements To Consider

Once you start thinking that way, about your blog as a way for people to know more about you, what you stand for, who you are, you might consider doing a few things.

• Consider adding a picture of you on the main page. I admit that I take this to the extreme, but whatever. You won't ever NOT recognize me at a conference or a social event, and that's my goal.
• Make your ABOUT page robust. I write a lot about who I am, where to find me, what I am passionate about, and other things on my about page. In my case, I even have a speaking page, so that people know what I speak about at events (or some of what I speak about).
• Make it easy to contact you. My email is right there on the blog, as well as my phone number. People use them both all the time, and these bring me interesting opportunities that don't always land in the comments section.
• Consider WHAT you talk about in your blog. Even if you don't consider your blog your resume, Google will help your prospective employers figure out your web presence.

The Social Media Resume

Listing your previous jobs and titles is not nearly a full picture of who you are, what you know, what you're capable of, and who you know. There are other ways to do this. You might want to give more thought to posting more information about you online. There are ways to do this that don't seem as threatening to current employers, by the way.

If you haven't considered using LinkedIN, that's a baseline. But LinkedIN is still a resume of sorts, only with a few (really useful) features added in. LinkedIN can be explained to wary employers as a way to network with fellow professionals in your field and to find people who share interests. But don't stop there.

A few people have talked about a social media resume. My first exposure to it was Bryan Person's post about it, with a link to his own social media resume. I've not employed this specifically, because I feel my profile on LinkedIN covers all that ground, but I could see someone choosing to split out their professional credentials from their social media experience, and then this would be the right tool.

Social Networks for Networking

First, I have to say that I have a problem with the notion of traditional networking, in the social sense. I perceive networking to mean those cocktail gatherings where you stand around and ask each other what you can do for each other. Though I understand it's usually genuine in intent, I've rarely found the right kind of relationship by doing the cursory dance at these events. Too shallow for my tastes.

Online social networks are different, insofar as we have the opportunity to know more about someone through repeated interactions. If you and I are friends on Twitter, I get to see what you deem interesting enough to post into a box. If we're friends on Facebook, I might learn a LOT about your interests and the like from what you put on your profile, which groups you belong to, your other posted media.

One more thing about Facebook: the repeat question of whether or not it's for business is only coming from people who aren't in there messing around with it. It's not the best thing in the world for businesses, and I can tell you lots of things I hate about it, but it's a way to find a more enriched profile of someone than what you get on LinkedIN, and that's the value statement there.

I think social networks, blogs, and all these various places like Seesmic, Utterli, Flickr , are great touchpoints to understanding someone's personal interests, tastes, and learn about their professional proclivities as well.

The Bonus Round

You might consider putting up a video about yourself. There's something different and more intimate about making video, and people can see even more about who you are, how you act, in a video.

One friend, Ben Yoskovitz, made a startup out of the idea of video in recruiting. It's brilliant, really, because it adds that piece that's missing.

And making video isn't especially hard these days. You can use a Flip video camera and pop a video onto YouTube without a lot of effort.

Now, making a GOOD video is another matter altogether, but then you might consider getting some help from a local expert. I've got friends in video all over the place, so if you want a little help with that, let me know.

A Note About WHERE To Find Jobs

This has changed a great deal over the last few years. Popular blogs and websites now have their own job boards (37 Signals, TechCrunch, and tons of other places, for instance). It's not just the world of Monster or HotJobs. Now, people and individuals are becoming hubs for jobs. Oh, and don't forget Craigslist.

At any one time, I have someone pinging me for either a social media position that's open, or a software engineer, or someone with an Internet skillset that isn't easy to find by sifting through resumes. So, be attentive to that as well. Sometimes, jobs aren't circulating in the traditional places, so the folks who might want to find you, are the same ones spending time online.

This post is part of a series by Chris Brogan, a social media expert, and is taken from his eBook titled Using the Social Web to Find Work.

Labels: blogging, branding, careers, FACEBOOK, Flickr, jobs, LinkedIn, Resumes, Social Media, Social Networking, web2.0